A Revelation and a Transformation
by Liquid Pepper
Summary: Lily finds out about the Willow incident, and notices James in a different light. A bit angsty, rated T for language.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. JK owns Harry Potter and a shitload of money.**

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><p>The Marauders were fighting, and everyone knew it.<p>

Madam Pomfrey first noticed it when the number of hexed Slytherins she treated dropped dramatically. Professor McGonagall noticed it when James and Remus sat on one side of the Transfiguration classroom, Sirius on the other, and Peter in the middle, unsure of which side he was on.

Lily Evans, along with the rest of Gryffindor House, noticed it one night in the Common Room.

James and Remus were playing Wizard's Chess after dinner with Peter looking on when Sirius emerged from the portrait hole and made his way over to the trio.

"Prongs-" he started, but was immediately cut off by the hazel-eyed boy.

"Fuck off, _Black_."

Everyone stared at the two tall, dark haired boys in astonishment. James and Sirius never fought. Never.

"Prongs, mate, you have to listen to me! I'm sorr-"

Once again, Sirius was cut off, this time by Remus. "James isn't the one you should be apologizing to, Sirius." the sandy haired boy said exasperatedly. "You acted rashly, and in doing so, betrayed all that the Marauders stand for."

Sirius flinched. He'd rather Remus scream at him than use this voice. It just sounded... disappointed, like Remus had expected this to happen and was tired of it all.

James abruptly stood. "I'm done with this. I'll catch up with you later, Moony, Wormtail." He gathered his bag and brushed past Sirius without a second glance. The occupants of the Common Room were staring unabashedly at the three remaining Marauders.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" Lily asked no one in particular.

Remus sighed and beckoned for Peter to follow him up to the sixth year boy's dormitory. Sirius fell into an armchair, a dejected look on his face. When he noticed the people staring at him, he barked, "What? Don't you tossers have anything better to do?"

The Gryffindors hurriedly resumed their previous activities. Lily looked back down at her Charms essay, her brow furrowed in concentration. Was their row about Remus'... problem? Lily herself had only put the pieces together last year, when Remus would periodically disappear during rounds. She had no doubt that the Marauders knew, seeing as they had lived with the boy for six years. Lily vowed to get to the bottom of the fight, if only to restore the air of normalcy that seemed to reign when the Marauders were up to their usual shenanigans. Without it, everything felt...dull.

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><p>It was three months later, on the train ride back to King's Cross for the summer when Lily finally figured out the problem. She had tried for weeks, to no avail, to get Remus or Peter to talk. Hell, she had even talked to Potter, but he had quickly chased her away with his suggestive comments and waggling eyebrows. He was trying to act like the row didn't faze him, and in order to do so, he resorted to being even more of a git around Lily.<p>

Lily finally decided to confront the root of the problem; Sirius Black. She found him in a compartment on the train by himself, staring sadly out the window.

"Black?" she questioned.

Sirius turned his grey eyes on her. "Alright, Evans?" he asked dully.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush, Black. I want to know what happened between you and Potter." Lily demanded.

Sirius looked at her suspiciously. "Why? You of all people should be happy that we aren't causing mischief."

Lily sighed. "It's just... with the war and everything, people need guys like the Marauders to lighten up the atmosphere, prevent it from becoming to somber with the news of people being murdered."

Sirius turned to look out of the window again. "It's not my story to tell, Evans."

She huffed indignantly. "If it's any consolation, I know about Remus' aptly named 'furry little problem'."

Sirius' head immediately whipped around. "Shut up!" he whisper-shouted while waving his wand at the door. "Do you want the whole train to know?"

Lily shook her head. "Obviously not. Now, tell me what happened. Maybe I can help."

The haughty boy sighed in defeat. "Fine. So you obviously know that Remus is a werewolf. Do you know where he goes and what part we play in his transformation?"

Lily said no and motioned for him to continue.

Sirius cleared his throat and began. "We found out about Remus in second year and confronted him about it. There is a secret passage underneath the Whomping Willow that leads to the Shrieking Shack, which is where Moony transforms. He used to come back every month bruised and bloodied, and I could tell that it killed James to see his friend in pain. He convinced me and Peter to help him do something about it. We spent the next three years researching, and finally, last year, we became Animagi."

Lily looked at him, clearly in shock. "That's incredible! You guys are probably Unregistered (Sirius nodded his head at this) which could mean a lengthy stint in Azkaban if you were ever caught! Not only that, you guys go gallivanting with a werewolf every month! Do you know how amazingly stupid that is?"

Sirius eyed her apprehensively. "Obviously. Anyway, I turn into a big dog, and James turns into a stag, which means we're big enough to play with Remus so he won't bite and scratch himself. Peter turns into a rat, which means he's small enough to press the knot at the base of the Willow and freeze it so we can get through the secret passage. It works out perfectly."

Lily interjected at this point. "This is all well and good, but what does it have to do with the fight?"

The dark-haired boy waved her off. "I'm getting there. Anyway, as I'm sure you know, Snivellus had an unhealthy obsession with finding out where Remus goes every month, and I was fed up with it. I had just seen him talking to my younger brother, Regulus, that morning, so when he confronted me after dinner, I just snapped. I told him how to get past the Willow and that his answer would lie in the passage."

Sirius' voice broke at this point, and Lily wanted to be mad at him but couldn't, not when his best mates already were.

"Go on. What happened next?" she urged.

"I-I told James what I did, and he hexed me before running off after Snape. He found him halfway through the tunnel, Stupefied him, and then levitated him out of the tunnel before Remus could get to him. James had to go back and fight off Remus by himself to make sure he didn't get to Snape." Sirius said before exhaling deeply.

Lily laughed coldly. "Yeah, right. Sirius, tell me what really happened. Like Potter would ever put himself in harms way for anybody, let alone Snape." She looked at the boy in front of her, took in the look of contempt for her written on his face, and continued in an uncertain voice, "Besides, even if he did save Snape, he probably only did it because I used to be mates with Sev-"

"I didn't do it for you." A quiet voice interrupted her in the middle of her rant. Lily turned her head slowly to look at the door, her gaze falling upon a livid James Potter.

"It was never about you, you self-centered _bitch_." he continued in a low voice that was somehow even worse than shouting. "Not everything I do is for you, _Evans_." He spat out her name with such contempt that Lily almost flinched.

Almost.

"I would have gone down to that tunnel for anybody. I would have done it if it were Mulciber, or Avery, or even _Bellatrix_. Not because they didn't deserve it, but because I know Remus would _never_ forgive himself if he harmed a student. I risked my life for Remus. I didn't risk it to win the affections of some cold-hearted bitch who wouldn't know she was breaking someone's heart even if she was told so. I see I misjudged your character, Evans. How could I ever have fancied someone who thinks so low of me? I realize now that it was my mistake. My mistake for trusting a _Black_, my mistake for falling for a _stubborn whore_."

Lily's heart caught in her throat as James continued on his rant.

"Rest assured, I will never associate with either of you again. Are you happy, Black? You've just proven that you're worthy of your heritage." James shifted his gaze to Lily. "How about you, Evans? Are you happy that you've proven wrong the one person that thought you were selfless and kind?"

He took a step back and studied both of them. "I hope you both rot in _hell_."

With that, James turned on his heel and walked away.

Lily was so overcome with guilt that she _almost_ didn't here James mutter under his breath, 'To think I could've ever _loved_ her...'

_Almost._

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><p>From that point on, Lily Evans saw James Potter differently. He was no longer an arrogant toe rag to her; he was a selfless and fiercely loyal man who would do anything for his friends. This was proven during seventh year when he forgave Sirius. She saw him as a kind and responsible person who wore his heart on his sleeve and tutored First Years in the library. This was proven when he became a better Head Boy than even Dumbledore could have predicted.<p>

But there was one thing that James remained adamant about, and that was Lily Evans.

He maintained a cold indifference to her, only interacting when Head duties deemed it necessary. The worst part was, it tore Lily up inside. Every time he ignored her, a little piece of her heart broke, because she was now fully aware of her increasing infatuation with the tousle-haired Head Boy.

Everything came to a head when she confronted him after a prefect's meeting, and explained to him just what she had been feeling this past year. When she saw the blank look on his face, she turned away and allowed the tears to come.

She _almost _didn't notice the comforting arms around her as James whispered his forgiveness into her hair.

_Almost._

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><p><strong>AN: So, yeah. There it is. Reviews are sex.**


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